Caption Comp

So here it is - the page you have all been waiting for, the page to end all pages, the page that when it appears you know you have made it as a web page......

The Caption Competition Page

Its been a good few months (years?) since the last one - thought it was about time to bring it back. No prize this time - credit crunch and all that...

Caption Competition - May 2009

This needs all 3 pictures for the full effect...

So whats your best attempt?

Winner Announced: Don decided that the winner was Hairy and his 'Hoggy i'm open, i'm still open, greedy b***ard!'. So we have to assume this is actually what was being thought!

Entries so far

Babe - 'Big hand for Hoggy lad, I said a big hand for Hoggy lads, I'm stuck noo'

Haribo the Elder - 'Hoggy wait for meeeeeee........'

Ken Wilkinson - Fat Bloke waving shouting - 'Put your contact lenses back in,the try line`s this way'

TMG - 'If I ain't got the same socks as the rest of you I ain't running!!!'

Gav Lynch - 'Obviously Hairy doesn't have the Lynx effect!!!!'

PC - 'Goodbye Hogg, goodbye Hogg, I was singing goodbye to my Hogg, and as I was singing 'goodbye to my Hogg' I was singing goodbye to my Hogg.........'

Honest John - 'Eh, Hello, Ref, I think there was a knock on back here'

Committee member - Club Treasurer and wife attempt to sneak into game without paying foiled by alert player.


Startled - Pic #1: 'Hiyaaa'
Startled - Pic #2: 'Hiyaaa'
Startled - Pic #3: 'Hiyaaa'

Hairy - 'Going, going, gone....'

SMG - 'Bye bye guys, games won, I'm off skiing'

Bertie - Hairy pointlessly appeals to the "younger" guys to slow the pace down a bit and stop taking things so seriously and to pass him the ball once in a while

A Saint - 'Inside. Inside! Ah F@ck you then.'

Chocolate - In between gasps for breath Hairy breaks into song. 'So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, goodbye'

AlanR - Hairy's cardboard cutout ploy fails to impress!!

Flanders - 'Sir,Sir I think I've just shat myself!'

Hairy - 'Hoggy i'm open, i'm still open, greedy b***ard!'

Hairy - 'TAXI'

How to Enter?

Please complete the form below


Whats your caption?

Other Info

If you have any photos you feel could be good for future competitions - please send them to

January Winner: Willie Harrison - 'Ah, a dry place on the pitch!'

Don judged the comp and liked it as it was topical.

Well done Haribo - you bottle of Southern comfort will be behind the bar (you may have to wait a few days for my old man to get back from holiday before you can claim your prize)

January Caption Comp

Ned - 'Craig even slips past Smithy wearing an opposition jersey!'
Startled - 'Everyone wanted souvenirs of their appearance at Violetbank, even Mcanns divots were fetching outrageous prices on ebay'
Bazz - 'A divine theologianís case to discredit the Ďascent of maní theory and Darwinís origin of species paper were thrown out when new evidence was brought to light.'
Lisa - 'Deciding the game wasnt for him Craig tried his hand a Sumo but nappy rash was too much for him'
Craig Mc - 'Does my bum look big in this? other guy - Course it does, it looks big in anything!!!!!'
H - 'Crouch, touch, pause, wait for it!!!!'
Ed - 'The Mowdi-Man XV's flanker spots a mole.'
Steve Jancey - 'Craig finds time to play blindmans bluff with opposition.'
Smithy - 'The boys use every spare minute to practise their balance in their efforts to take on the champion Billy henderson at the bottle walk.'
Minto - 'Old turf-turd McCann rips one out and the Garnock gannet pounces!'
Andy R - 'The half time entertainment of the 2 subs playing Twister was a big hit with the Violetbank crowd'
Andy R - 'Craig nipped down the blind side of the blind prop'
PC - 'I'll sniff your arse if you sniff mine'
Broon - 'Damn these cheap russian contact lenses'
Anon - 'Annan finally accept that they should give up Rugby and begin practicing for the American Football league.'
Ed - 'Bob the 'Groundsman's' barracking has ensured that the opponents replace every divot immediately, or else!'
Bertie - 'You keep the ball, I've just seen 50p that Barry Graham dropped a couple of years ago!'
Connor - 'This scrums gone haywire'

December Winner: Paul Minto - 'Warning - Plook and Mouth disease returns. Officials have reported Plook&Mouth disease has been spotted in the area and published a photo of two poor beasts suffering the final stages. Government officials report the first signs are dribbling from the mouth soon followed by the appearance of a huge plook which eventually replaces the mouth. If your beasts show these signs it is too late. Please phone your vet to remove the carcasses.'

Ian judged the December 2006 Comp - summary of the entries...."None made him smile, Minto's was a bit long winded, but at least he put some thought into it.."

So there you go - Congratulations to Paul who wins the Extras DVD.

December Caption Comp

Linsday - Bazz and Muff arrive back at club after attending their first AA meeting
Ivor Bigun - A stunned bazz looks on as Muff tries out his gargoyle impression
Bux - Long after "the young guns" had collected their 1st team ties, senior players were still reeling from the shock of witnessing the ceremony and the resulting quantities of fluids on the clubhouse floor!!
Ed - Alan Davies and Mark Lamarr are astounded when Berti wins the Perrier Comedy Award.
Smithy - Muff was in shock when Bazz anounced that the nurse at the sperm bank wanted the glass filled.
Griff - look deep into my eyes you are getting very sleepy very tired sleep now. quick bazz mug him!
Muff - Bazz: "Hey boys it's ok he's almost human."
Bobski - Tennents Lager is good for you
Blackie - Wow that was some try Cash !!!
Blackie - How many injuries Cash ? ? ?
Blackie - Honest Cash you got the winner from half way with a broken leg , two cracked ribs , disloctated shoulder and a fractured jaw - wow class eh!!!!! - I am spotting a theme here Blackie!!
Chez - The bus left ages ago lads!
Don - What do you think of my Ian Gilmour impersonation?
Don - Ideal for the mantelpiece - it will certainly keep the bairns away
AlanR - Muff hoped his new contact lenses would settle down eventually
Bazz - The two finalists relax with a drink while the panel of judges decide who will be Mr Universe 2006.
PC - Hey Muff, who's that twat with the camera?
Hairy - The promised impressions of the HULK and Roland Rat failed to live up to expectations
Gav Lynch - I hope the wind doesn't change, or muff could end up looking like that for ever!!!!!!
Catriona - Another two glasses of redeye, please Tich!
Rod - You won't like it when he goes green!!

November Winner: Ally Muir - 'It was never going to be easy having siamese twins playing on opposing teams'

November Caption Comp

Andy R - Have you seen my elephant impression?
Chez - So what if my friend only has one arm!
Muff - Bazz has the upper hand in this disabled match, but although he has two arms they dont look much use. 'Watch out beadle's about'
Conor - Strictly Come dancing judges in the back arnt impressed but andys stunned
Andy R - 'I'm not drunk you know - I've only had a few ales!'
Jonno - 'He had to stop and stare. Itd been so long since baz had seen such a large pair of tits..... '
H - 'Lecter, you've got the wrong shirt on again!!!'
Bruce Andy is gettin ready run for it incase a fight breaks out! Do you see the look of fear on his face?
Bob - Baz's ability to find a gap in the defense amazes young Andy
Hairy - Baz and Snowie patrol the exclusion zone around Jevs' moustache.
Bertie - After successfully trying juggling, Baz find he just cannot turn himself invisible!
Ed - 'Pssst - Blue Oyster Club, tonight, I'll be wearing chaps'
Gav Lynch - Snowie saying 'thats it, you hold baz and i'll grab his wallet'
Minto - Once again they arrived too late to stop Old Baz biting his thumb off
Ned - 'What do you mean: Billy Henderson knows my mother?'
Hairy - 'The Sunday Post would like to apologise for last weeks spot the ball'
PC - 'Bazz confuses the match with his wednesday night salsa lessons!'
Sam Rogers - 'Did you see that?! - Yeh... i mean no, no i didn't. What?'
Billy Jardine - 'Don't be scared, but there is a spider on your sock'
Smithy - 'Gogs disguises himself as a Falkirk Player in an attempt to get close enough to Baz to claim back his fullback jersey'
Shaun McGauchie - 'I saw you bounce it on your head,now where is it?'
Alan R. - 'I'll see you later round the back of the scrum'
Chocolate - 'No, No, No. You follow my lead. Slow, Slow, Quick, Quick, Slow!'
Young Broin - 'Not me stupid, him behind me - I want to be stand-off, not him!'